Modern love: How employers can update romance policies to address remote work

After watching the professional and personal fallout created by Good Morning America co-anchors Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes' workplace affair, it's hard to imagine anyone thinking an office romance is a good idea — or that any employer wouldn't have strict guidelines and guardrails in place to protect employees and the organization. 

And yet: one-third of employees said they began or sustained a relationship with a colleague during the pandemic, according to a recent survey by SHRM. That's up 6% since 2019. Despite the uptick, a report by online compliance training provider Traliant found that 27.4% of respondents said their employer has not defined its workplace misconduct policies, particularly for a hybrid or remote setting, in the case those relationships don't work out.

"No one ever enters a relationship thinking how it could go badly," says Maggie Smith, vice president of HR at Traliant. "That's certainly not the goal — but in order to avoid it, companies will have to be really mindful of their employees' interactions at work so that they're still professional." 

Read more: Love contract: Why workplace romances are on the rise post-pandemic

Unlike Robach and Holmes, who've exited ABC in the wake of their relationship, not all workplace romances become tabloid news — but their consequences can be just as severe. Sixty-five percent of workers who are in or have been involved in a workplace romance dated their peers, according to SHRM, but 12% dated their subordinates and 19% dated their superiors. That can create a power imbalance in those relationships that could easily bleed into work. 

"You need to ask yourself, if it doesn't work out, then what?" Smith says. "Are you going to be able to continue to work with that person and move business forward? How uncomfortable is that going to potentially be if there's no option to be moved into a different department? People may not want to have this conversation, but at the beginning of their relationship employees should acknowledge the possibilities." 

Even small infractions can have ramifications, particularly if romantic coworkers are depending on workplace tools to communicate with one another — an increasingly common occurrence as remote and hybrid work have taken the "office" out of "office romance."

Smith recalled an instance where she had to get involved with two employees, who were suspected to be in a relationship, after a few of their emails were flagged internally. Smith had to read through all of their exchanges as they investigated the nature of the relationship. 

"It was hundreds and hundreds of emails," she says. "And it was not fun or juicy. Even if you send a message and delete it, it only has to be there for a second for somebody to take a screen grab or forward it to someone else. It's still your company's system and all of that information could be discoverable." 

Read more: How to handle difficult work situations when people are remote

Companies should update codes of conduct to ensure that they are as effective and comprehensive as when employees were in the office. That means expanding written policies to include Zoom and Slack and other programs that may create new opportunities for unprofessional exchanges. As relationships are harder for managers to spot in remote settings, adjusting policies to relationship disclosure is also vital.

For example, many policies are diligent about outlining the dangers of relationships between supervisors and subordinates, but it doesn't do as thorough of a job at guiding employees on how they should navigate internal and external communication or how to talk to managers about the relationships they are thinking of starting. 

"People are still going to meet this way," Smith says. "Just think about how many of your waking hours are spent at work. Employers should be having conversations with their team to remind them that the same rules still apply."