Opening Keynote: Real Talk on Vulnerable Leadership

Newton Cheng went on mental health leave on Jan 18, 2022.  Despite working in the field of health & wellbeing for 20+ years, being a world champion competitive athlete, and having access to world class experts and robust mental health support services, he still burned out. 

In this keynote he will share the story of his journey to burnout and back, and what he's learned about how we're hampering innovation by not practicing vulnerable leadership… so many of us leaders get it wrong when we do try to demonstrate vulnerability, and how we can practice it effectively via a skills-based approach.

True leadership requires risk taking and failure. However, our culture tells us to "fake it until we make it" and to "never let them see us sweat".  What might we be able to achieve if we could actually share our struggles so that we could take better care of ourselves and each other while pursuing our most daring ambitions?

Transcription:

Newton Cheng (00:10)

Good morning, everyone. How are you? Good. We're doing well. Alright. I'm excited and honored to be here with you today. I'm Newton Cheng. I'm a husband and father. I'm a World Champion Powerlifter , and I'm Director of Health and Performance at Google, which means I oversee the suite of amenities that are there to support the health and well-being of our global workforce. Now, that all sounds fancy and impressive, but this is a talk on vulnerable leadership, right? So I'm going to show you one additional point on my resume that I don't show to many people. I'm an often poorly dressed cat lover who struggles to share his emotions. So he started a whole public speaking side hustle where he shares them on stage, and that's why I'm here today.

(01:02):

So I share this with you for a few reasons. One, I just really love cats, and look at that cat . Second, we're going to talk about some serious stuff today, but that doesn't mean we have to take ourselves too seriously while we do it. Can we agree to that? Okay. Let's try to enjoy ourselves. I don't like to just talk at you the whole time. So we're going to get right into an exercise right now and get you talking to each other. This is going to be a really easy one, so keep your stakes down, it'll be okay. I want you to turn to someone, preferably you don't know well, so we start to meet some new people. You're going to take 60 seconds per person, and you're going to answer this super complicated prompt

"Tell me about yourself." Okay? That's it. You've done this a thousand times before. You're going to do this a thousand times at this conference. So what? Alright, let's bring our attention back up front. No more networking. Don't make too many friends. Stop. Stop, everyone. Hello. Hello. Attention back up front. Okay, this is not working. Clap once if you can hear me. Clap twice if you can hear me. Clap three times if you can hear me. Okay. That's a trick I learned from my grade school teacher friends. Turns out we were all just big kids. How was that? Good. Good. Okay. It looks like you like each other. That's good because you're going to be together for a few days. Now before we move on, hopefully that was pretty easy, lifted the energy a little bit, but I want you to take just a second to reflect on two things. Remember, what did you say in response to that prompt? And then I'm guessing there are some things that came to mind and you're like, "I'm not going to say that." You decided to keep some things off the table, and I want you to remember what are those things? Later we're going to come back to that. And that brings us to our first insight around vulnerable leadership. Vulnerable leadership isn't about just putting it all out there. It's actually being highly intentional about what you choose to emphasize and reveal about yourself and what you don't, especially in those hard moments as leaders, those moments that matter.

(03:36):

This is a roadmap for today. First, we're going to talk about what is vulnerable leadership. It's a popular buzzword, but let's get a little more specific, and why does it matter, especially for the moment we're in right now. Second, what does vulnerable leadership actually look like? So I'll give you a high-level definition, but then let's get specific. And then third, once I've given you some insights, how do you actually bring it together and effectively lead with vulnerability? We're going to get that all done in 30 minutes, I swear. Okay. What is vulnerable leadership? Why does it matter?

(04:13):

Let me start by painting some high-level context about the world today. Right now we have unprecedented geopolitical tensions around the world, as well as sociopolitical tensions within countries like the US and around the world. All this is exacerbated by the rise of radical technologies like artificial intelligence. It's a big topic here, but then we also have those questions about AI, like, is this going to create amazing value for our industry, or is it going to take jobs? And for the massive investment it takes to build out AI infrastructure, is this going to lead to a huge financial bubble? Now, all of this uncertainty ripples through society and it's hitting our financial and labor markets in huge volatility. If you're at a business or an organization, you have huge questions about

"How should I invest my capital? Should I hire more, should my hiring be flat, or should I even do layoffs?" Now, all of this volatility is lumped on top of problems we had before this time, such as loneliness and mental health epidemics in the US and many countries around the world.

(05:26):

All of this adds up to one word

fear, not just in society, not just in our communities, but in our organizations. Now here's the problem. When fear takes root in your organization, more people stop prioritizing helping each other, and they start prioritizing helping themselves. This isn't for any bad reasons; this is very natural. You stop thinking about how do I help the collective organization thrive, and instead you have to think, "How do I survive?" That is a totally human thing, and given the world, I can't fault anyone for that. This is where vulnerable leadership comes in. It's not a magic wand that can change the facts of the situation. There's a lot of scary stuff going on in the world right now, but what vulnerable leadership can do is be the antidote to the problems that can arise from fear within your organization, by nurturing trust and connection between the people you work with so that you have the best chance possible in helping each other through all of these ups and downs.

(06:41):

Okay, so that's a good high-level definition, but what does this actually look like in practice? To demonstrate that, I'm going to tell a story. Let's dial back to November 2021. This was towards the end of the pandemic. I was scheduled to give a keynote at a Google Health and Well-being conference. This was a huge moment for my career. In the year before that, I had just been promoted to a new executive role at Google, I had become a world champion powerlifter, and had a beautiful wife and child. So on paper, I'm killing it.

(07:16):

Now this keynote was going to be to a room full of industry thought leaders and experts, such as yourselves, and so I knew this had to be perfect. So I spent weeks practicing and polishing this talk about the amazing intersections between Google technology and health and well-being. But then, as the day of the keynote approached, something started to feel off about my message, and that feeling grew and grew and grew until the day of the keynote. I knew I had to make a big and scary change. So the day of the keynote, I got up on stage and I threw out my prepared remarks, and instead I told the audience what was really going on. That is, I had long been struggling with depression, anxiety, and burnout, and I'd soon be going on mental health leave because I was ashamed of how I was showing up as a husband and father. Physically I was present, but emotionally I wavered between being absent and volatile.

(08:25):

And the reason I was telling this audience, this room full of health and well-being leaders, was because we all knew the data around how many were struggling just like me, but hiding it due to stigma. And we can't solve a problem if we can't even talk about it. So we were going to start talking about it on that day, even if we had to start with talking about my problem. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I had no idea

had I just ruined my reputation, my career? Actually, what happened was it created quite a positive shift in the conference. Suddenly we were having much more open and interesting conversations about what was really going on in our organizations and with our families.

(09:12):

Soon that was followed up with a request for an interview. This was for a Men's Mental Health podcast where they asked me to come tell my story. And I thought this will be a one-time thing, but it'll be good to get the story out there because more people need to do this. But it wasn't a one-time thing. That turned into more interview requests. Those turned into requests for keynotes and workshops. And that accelerated year over year for the last four years until now, I've done dozens of these talks. But more importantly, as I have these talks, I've had hundreds of very honest conversations with professionals just like yourselves about what is really going on with the struggles in their lives and the organizations, and how are their leaders actually showing up to support them.

(10:04):

Now, as I'd go, I have imposter syndrome. I would say, "There are a lot of good speakers out there, I think I'm pretty good, but why'd you hire me? I can do a pretty good workshop, but there are lots of good workshops out there. Why'd you hire me?" And the feedback was so consistent, almost down to the precise word, and it was this

"We really wanted to hear from a leader that would actually say something real." Say something real. Now, as I say those, and we think about the mask that we have to wear in the workplace, especially as leaders, that probably hits pretty viscerally. But that wasn't enough for me. I'm like, "Okay, I get it. I feel it emotionally. What do you mean? Tell me more."

(10:59):

And so I started to really dig in with people and have a lot of conversations, like, "Tell me more. What does it mean to be real?" And I'm going to show you this table where I've divided it between conventional leaders, and those are the people who grew up in the school of leadership that I did. It's like, "Show strength and competence. Never let them see you sweat. Fake it 'til you make it," if you have to. Anyone else learn those lessons? They get you pretty darn far, to be fair. However, they're not appropriate for every situation, and that's where vulnerable leadership comes in. So in those moments of trial and those hard moments in organizations, what they'd see from conventional leaders is they would stick to the company line, and they would try to deliver messages that were as palatable as possible to minimize risk of going outside the guardrails or saying something that someone might get offended by.

(11:47):

Vulnerable leaders would take a different approach. They would choose a message that would deeply resonate specifically with those that most needed to feel seen, those struggling the most, and they would take courageous risks to do that. Conventional leaders, they would keep it high level where they would say, "Here's the high-level message, and then I'm going to support that with general trends in society as well as data." And that's really important. We know that in the HR field, it's very important. You need that for credibility. However, vulnerable leaders would take it further where, yes, they would support their message with data because that's important, but they would zoom in all the way to a specific human story that would tell you what's really going on under the data. And the bravest ones wouldn't just share any story, they would share their story.

(12:39):

Now, occasionally, some of the more conventional leaders, they would go there, they'd talk about their struggles, but it would always fit a certain story arc

"At a time in my career, I struggled, but I worked really hard and I overcame it. And now that you're inspired, someday you can be like me." Has anyone heard a leader tell a story like that? Is anyone guilty of telling that story? No, no, no, of course not. Never, never, especially those of us with kids. So I think many of us are guilty of this. Now, vulnerable leaders would take a different approach because the goal was completely different. They would tell stories of struggle, but it wasn't about the struggles they've overcome. It was about the current struggles they have yet to overcome, because they weren't trying to inspire the audience. They were trying to say, no matter what level of the organization you're in, we all struggle and we're all in this together. Now, why was this effective?

(13:41):

I could show you a lot of studies and a lot of research on authenticity and vulnerability in the workplace, but nothing captures it better than this line from a poet named Rumi

"The wound is the place the light enters you." When we show our wounds, especially as leaders—those are our fears, our losses, the things we hide out as shame—we say, "I'm going to show you the real me because I trust you." And that trust is the seed for a new connection and conversation that wasn't possible before. Now, on that heavy note, we are going straight into exercise two, but I'm going to give you a little bit of a safe haven. It's really hard to go from, "I'm kicking off a conference, we're meeting people," to, "Let's talk about our wounds." I'm not going to ask you to do that yet. So what I want you to do is take a picture of this slide so that you have these insights to take away later on.

(14:47):

I want you to do some homework. Take some time to reflect on, in terms of vulnerable leadership, where do you feel you could improve? Don't talk about leaders in general, where specifically do you feel you could improve? And now I'm going to ask you to do one thing in real time here. I want you to scan the room. I want you to make awkward eye contact with someone and say, "Later on, even if we have to get drunk together because this is Vegas, we are going to share our reflections with one another." I'm just going to sit silently to see if everyone avoids eye contact now.

(15:30):

Yeah. So note to self, this exercise does not work. Okay? Seriously, though, make a friend to share something. Seriously, this is how the work is done of growing vulnerable leadership, and we will dive into that a little more into during this talk. Okay, did anyone make a silent agreement with someone? Okay, I saw one hand kind of do this. Alright. Okay, keep networking. Alright, so I just threw a lot of different insights at all of you, but how do we actually bring this together to effectively lead with vulnerability? So I want to anchor it in this insight that I said earlier. It's really about being intentional about the sides you choose to reveal or don't reveal during the moments that matter.

(16:25):

So let's go over a personal case study. On January 20th, 2023, Google chose to lay off 12,000 employees around the globe. It did this on a Friday, without warning, cutting off access to the intranet as well as access to the physical buildings to these employees. Now, for many of us who were not in the know, we woke up to a litany of chat messages, texts, and emails saying, "I don't know what's going on. I don't have access. Are you okay? Did you survive?" So we spent Friday just scrambling trying to figure out what had happened, who was still in the system, and who was not. What I had learned by the end of the day was that about 80% of my organization was let go, and I hadn't been able to speak to my team about this. But for the past year as budgets had tightened, I had been reassuring them that relief was coming and we were going to rebuild our organization. We were all on the edge of burnout.

(17:32):

So I knew that on Monday I wouldn't have complete information, but I needed to get my team together and just regroup. So what I'm going to show you are two photos that were taken on the Sunday right before the day where I knew I had to address my team. This was the early evening. Here I am playing with my very cute kids

Getty Images

. And you can take away one message from this that I might say to my team

"It's really unfortunate and it's hard what happened, but ultimately this was the right decision for the business, and we trust our leaders. We need to be grateful that we're all still here, we still have our roles, and we have a way of taking care of ourselves and our families." And that's a really good message. It's a true message. A few hours later, I was going through my messages of all the people who were desperately reaching out for help, asking, "Can you connect me with people?" A lot of people were just scared. They didn't know how they were going to support their families, and I was so overwhelmed I couldn't talk. And so my daughter, being a fun little kid, she grabbed my phone and started taking pictures of me. And so this message, it says something different

"I'm hurt, I'm confused, I'm scared. I'm supposed to be the leader, and I don't know how to get through this." Monday morning, you've got to address your team. Who do you give the mic to? This is what vulnerable leadership's all about.

(19:16):

So I made the best decision I could. There's no right answer. I made the best decision I could. Both those guys got up to talk, but the second guy is the one who took the lead. And so I said to my remaining team, "I'm glad we're still all here. I'm glad that we have the means to support our families and take care of ourselves. The work we do, it still matters immensely to me, but for today, I am confused, I'm hurt, and I know I need to have a plan on how we move forward. I'm not there yet. And so for today, I just want to take some time to hear where all of you are at."

(20:02):

I didn't solve anything there. We still didn't have enough resources. Our projects were in shambles. But what that did was it planted a seed of trust. In a moment when I could have locked up because I was scared and I wanted to tow the company line, I instead decided to say the human thing to build trust. That became the seed for new connection and conversation, and that became the foundation for us rebuilding, which took time. But you have two choices in that scenario. You can clamp up and hope people are dealing with their fears, or you can open up and tell them, "I'm in this with you." Now I want to call out an elephant in the room. Here's the issue. It is great if you can get up in front of your team and do that. It's really hard, and it goes against everything I was taught. So not only were many of us never trained on how to be vulnerable in the workplace, it's quite the opposite. We are explicitly trained

"Don't ever be vulnerable in the workplace. What the hell are you doing?" Anyone else grow up in that school of leadership? Yeah. So how do you overcome this? Well, here's the good news. It turns out that your capacity for vulnerability, just like any other workplace competence, can be built up like a skill. It can be systematically built and increased, the strength of a muscle over time.

(21:39):

And the thing that best captures this idea is from a thought leader, Carol Robin, who used to teach at Stanford, and she has something she calls the 15% rule. It goes like this. The behaviors that you can do fall into three concentric circles. In the middle, you have the comfort zone. Those are things where you're totally comfortable. "I could easily do this. There's no stress." On the periphery, there's the danger zone. So this is like, "Heather runs up and hands me a karaoke mic and says, 'I really need you to sing Taylor Swift right now.'" I would drop the mic and say, "Screw you, Heather," and I'd go get a massage and cry. So that's the danger zone. You don't have to cry in the danger zone, but it can happen. So that's where it's just too uncomfortable. You would freeze up. Now, where the magic happens is the discomfort zone right in between, where there are those behaviors where you could do them.

(22:47):

They might be kind of uncomfortable, but you could push yourself. So if Heather came up and said, "I'm going to sing, you're going to be backup dancer," I'd say, "Okay, I think I can do that, but I'm going to need three other backup dancers with me." Anyone want to do that? No. Okay. So Carol Robbins says the way that you do this without freezing up and you continually keep growing, just try to push 15% out of your comfort zone. That's it. Think, "Where's my edge? Can I take one step over it?" And we're going to try applying this, and before we get there, so take a deep breath, it's going to be okay. This is something that it's not really logical. Yes, it's going to be cognitive, but you're going to feel it kind of physically and emotionally. So if you apply the 15% rule correctly, it might feel like a small anxiety response.

(23:47):

You might feel your throat or your chest tighten a bit. You might feel your body temperature rise. And unless you're having a heart attack, you are doing it right. So if you're having a heart attack, please raise your hand and say, "This is not the exercise, send help." But for all the rest of us, you are doing it right. Okay. Now this is going to be really easy. Going back to that first exercise, I want you to turn back to the same neighbor because we've built up some comfort. Now, 60 seconds per person. If things are really jamming, I might let it go a little longer, and just respond to this prompt again

"Tell me about yourself." And this time, I want you to push 15% into the discomfort zone. Remember, we reflected on what are the things you said, the things you didn't say. There's something on that list that maybe that you'll put out there and see what happens. Now, if you need a little more guidance, here are some less comfortable questions to consider

"Who do you miss the most right now? Why? What worries you the most right now? And what did you sacrifice to make it this far in your career? Would you do that over again?" Feel like we could go there. Slightly uncomfortable. Okay. At least 60 seconds per person. Ready, go.

(25:15):

Alright, attention back up front. If you can hear my voice, clap once. If you can hear my voice, clap twice. If you can hear my voice, clap three times. That still didn't do it. If you can hear my voice, clap four times. Okay. Okay, we're almost there. That's a very good sign. Normally I don't like being ignored, but I'm here to get you guys to talk to each other, so it's working. How was that? Good. Not terrible. Yeah, it's surprising, isn't it? So one of the things that I've realized by getting up here and telling all these feelings, written stories about myself, is that they land. But the thing that happens is the person almost instantly forgets about me because it's not about my story; I'm just a mirror. It's what comes up in the other person. So it's not terrible. You can put it out there. There's actually very little risk. So I want you to keep that feeling, and as you go through the rest of the conference, keep that in mind because you can connect at a deeper level than you might think.

(26:31):

I just gave you a lot of different insights on vulnerable leadership. Hopefully you had just a mini taste of what it's like to get a little more vulnerable. I wanted to leave you with one last lesson on real talk on vulnerable leadership. And again, we're anchoring it with this slide with the chubby cat because it's again, all about being intentional. And I want to model that for you in the most powerful way that I can. So I'm going to get something out and read it from my phone. This is a little too emotional to do from memory. A difficult life update to start 2025. December 20th, 2024. I wake up on a pull-out couch in a dark hospital room. The only light is from the machine monitoring my almost three-year-old daughter Kira's vitals. A woman in a face mask is hovering over me. "Good morning," the mask woman says gently. I'm an optimist by nature, but today I'm skeptical of the "good" part of that greeting. "The lab results have come back, and it looks likely that Kira has leukemia."

(27:46):

I instantly start bargaining. "What are the odds? It's leukemia versus something else." "It's leukemia," she replies, somehow exuding empathy while extinguishing any false hope. My mind goes blank. My heart goes to a level of numb I didn't know I had access to because it's not strong enough to process what I just learned in the space of about 30 seconds. That was a little over a month ago. Since then, we've learned that Kira has a highly treatable form of leukemia and is already responding well to treatment. And she's halfway through the second phase of chemo. We're incredibly grateful and hopeful, and she is a badass.

(28:30):

We've dramatically restructured life so Mom or Dad can be with her 24/7 if needed and are grateful we have the means to do so. And how am I doing? I could scream at God or the universe, but I'm not going to. Life and good health are gifts, not guarantees. So are our loved ones. So please do me a favor. Go hug your loved ones so tight it gets a little uncomfortable. As you do, remember you only get so many more of those hugs. So treat them like they're infinitely precious. We're here to love and take care of each other. And that's it. If you want to achieve some things, acquire some stuff along the way, and leave your dent in the universe, have at it. But I'm going to try harder to not mistake those side quests for the main plot. Thanks for the reminder, leukemia. Message received. So why did I

(29:29):

tell you this story? This is my last lesson on vulnerable leadership. Throughout this talk, I've been trying to explain vulnerable leadership as a business person would from up here, logically, cognitively. That's not what vulnerable leadership is at all. **It comes from here

Shutterstock

.** It's about taking a risk to show what's in your heart

wounds, scars, fears, loves, especially love. And that's the most powerful way I know to let people know they matter. And so with that, I'm going to close with two thank yous. First, thank you for giving me the time to talk to all of you about vulnerable leadership. I hope there's something here you can take back to your lives and your organizations so you can take better care of each other and yourselves. And then the last thank you, I'll leave you

2025 was the hardest year of my life. The two things I did not have to worry about

(30:31):

were Kira going to get access to excellent care? Am I going to have the flexibility to step away from work so I can take care of her? When professionals like you do what you do in this field and do it with excellence, kids like my daughter go on to have happy and healthy childhoods, and hopefully happy and healthy lives. And the people who love them, like me, get the privilege of continuing to love them for a few more years. And I can think of no greater gift. So to all of you who do this work, thank you. And with that, we have about nine minutes for Q&A.

(31:29):

Yes.

(31:32):

She is great. She just finished what was the last potentially really hard phase of chemo. I'll tell a story about how badass she is. So this last phase of chemo, they said she might get jaundice because her organs are going to be really affected. She might need a blood transfusion. So you've got to watch out for all these things. It can get really dicey. Meanwhile, she is sprinting up and down the slide and trying to use the bathtub as a pool, she dives into, while I'm watching because she's immunocompromised and freaking out. And then I take her to the hospital for her normal checkup, and I'm like, "She must be fine. Kids who are sick do not move around like this." And they look at her blood work and they say, "She's going to need a transfusion." I'm like, "Okay." So she got a transfusion, and no one wants their kid to be there. But I'm taking away the message that my kid is so badass that compromised blood cells cannot slow her down. So she's doing great. Thank you for asking.

(32:44):

Yes.

Audience Member 1 (32:52)

As HR professionals, I think it's somewhat easier for us to accept this message. How do you recommend pressing that into our other leaders so that it can become more of our culture?

Newton Cheng (33:05)

Yeah, this is... Well, so I have dual paths on doing this movement. There's my role at Google, where I have to go through the normal political channels. That is long, arduous work that will continue long after I'm dead, and I don't know how else. That's the most honest thing I can say. I understand when, let's say our CEO, I want him to be stronger on our messages around mental health, and he needs to be stronger on getting us to make progress on key company goals because there are other trillion-dollar companies coming for us. I'm like, "Okay, that's pretty important too." So we keep that going. We have our strategic machine to keep pushing things up the ladder. I think there are two things I'm trying to do. If I want them to show empathy, I try to show them empathy. So the message I'm trying to put out there is one of understanding for them.

(34:06):

When people get frankly pissed, they're not getting as much messaging support around things like mental health and burnout during a hard time like this, I try to remind them, "Hey, I haven't talked to our CEO. I've gotten to talk to leaders pretty far up the ladder, and when we can have a personal connection, we're all in this together, so please just trust he's doing his best. We're going to get there, and we're all struggling together." So that's one thing. Occasionally, that will move the needle. With senior male leaders, sad dad stories really work well in cracking them open. I don't mean to use that manipulatively. My sad dad stories are quite sad, and I feel sadness. So you have to be real about it, but it's effective. And then the final thing I did was, so you might ask, "Hey, does Google approve of you coming out to do these talks?"

(35:09):

They did not approve. And so I started doing these talks because I was frustrated, and I said, "This is not moving fast enough." And if I'm going to model real talk and vulnerability, yeah, I'm going to put some of my political credibility on the line and see if this pays off. And if not, then I'm going to die trying, and I'm going to be proud of what I tried to do. And someday my daughters ask, "Hey, when people are struggling, what did you do, Dad?" I'm going to be pretty proud of what I tell her. And that's the most honest answer I can give you. This is going to be a hard fight. Other questions? Yes.

(35:51):

All the way in the back, and then we'll come to the middle.

Audience Member 2 (35:53)

What inspired you to get into powerlifting?

Newton Cheng (35:58)

Okay, this opens up more stories. I actually used to be a breakdance performer and,

Audience Member 2 (36:06)

Let's see it.

Newton Cheng (36:08)

No,

Audience Member 2 (36:08)

You cannot say that without, come on. Help us.

Newton Cheng (36:11)

Okay.

Audience Member 2 (36:14)

Oh, get that on video. Oh, wow. Yes

(36:22):

Sir. Give it up. Are you going to feel that tomorrow?

Newton Cheng (36:28)

Yeah, I feel that right now. That felt so good when I was 26. I am 46 now. So I used to be a breakdancer. At some point my body said, "Hey, if we want to be good at this, you're going to have to go all in, no other hobbies, or you've got to retire." I just couldn't recover from the training. So I retired, and then at some point I'm like, "Okay, I don't know what to do." I went to a CrossFit class. I hated the entire thing except for just doing heavy deadlifts. The deadlift is just where you all you've got to do is pick up the bar and then you put it down. I'm like, "Really? I don't have to run anywhere. This is awesome. Why are you guys flying around on the bars? We could just be doing this. This is sweet." And so then, being an overachiever, I went on YouTube, and I'm like, "Hey, how strong are the strongest people my size?" And at the time I think I deadlifted 300 pounds. And I'm like, "Hey, that's pretty good." And then I found this guy, he's my friend now, his name's Richard Hawthorne, at the same body weight. And he didn't look that different than me, but he did five repetitions at 600 pounds.

(37:43):

And so after I picked up the pieces of my shattered mind, I thought, "Oh, this is really interesting. We don't look that different. So I could do that too." And so I haven't hit 600 pounds. I'm getting closer. But yeah, that's what inspired me. It's like, other people are amazing. We had a question right in the middle here.

Audience Member 3 (38:11)

So Newton, what ended up happening to the 15% of folks in your division who survived the cut in 2023? How did they respond initially to your vulnerability, and what was that process like to rebuild the team given what had happened? It was like a Friday massacre.

Newton Cheng (38:42)

Yeah. So I'll be very open about while I'm preaching vulnerability, I'm also preaching a lot of intentionality about what I did and did not show my team. So there were two sides. There should have been a third picture

there was the sad guy, the happy guy... there was the angry guy. I did not show them the angry guy. So I actually asked a team member about this, and I said, "Hey, when we did that message or that meeting, how did that land for you?" And he said that he expected me to get up and tow the corporate line because after a layoff, no one wants to speak up.

(39:24):

And he was surprised I didn't do that. And that gave him the permission to say what was really on his mind. So we got to a place of candor faster, I think, than other teams. At the same time, I hid the angry guy. I showed the angry guy to my boss. We had to have many dinners where I said the F-bomb a lot. But to my team, the message I kept giving them was, "Both these things can be true. We're hurt, we're worried. We still have these responsibilities." And I would try to lay out the macroeconomic realities, as well as the financial realities of the company in line with our goals. So I still had that conventional leader hat, but as long as I held space for both those things, it's like, "Hey, we're still here. You're not entitled to this job. None of us are. We have a job to do. We are hurt, we're confused, we're scared. We're going to have to make hard choices to get through this. And we can decide

are we going to let the angry guy in the room and say we no longer trust our leaders, and is that going to be a place you want to work? Or do you want to assume good intent and we're all in this together and rebuild this culture?" That's the only positive path forward.

(40:41):

We're still rebuilding. It's hard. With that, we are at time. Thank you so much for this opportunity.