Love contract: Why workplace romances are on the rise post-pandemic

Employees can’t always control where they fall in love — even if it’s not convenient for their professional lives.

Thirty-three percent of U.S. workers report that they’re currently involved or have been involved in a workplace romance — six percentage points higher than pre-pandemic, according to a new survey from the Society for Human Resource Management. Twenty-six percent of respondents either began a new workplace romance over the pandemic or have continued an existing workplace romance that began prior.

“Everyone has been impacted in one way or another by the pandemic,” says Amber Clayton, director of the SHRM HR Knowledge Center. “Colleagues may be confiding in one another or supporting one another through it, thereby creating closer relationships.”

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Despite the significant uptick, workplace romances are nothing new to offices. In fact, 50% of employees report they’ve had a crush on a coworker, according to the SHRM report. It’s so common that three-quarters of U.S. workers say they’re comfortable with people at their workplace being involved in an office romance, and more than a quarter of U.S. workers say they would like to be involved with someone at work.

While the majority of employees are open to the idea, there’s still stigma around reporting it to their supervisors, SHRM found. The survey found that the majority of U.S. workers say their employer doesn’t require them to disclose a workplace romance — so they didn’t.

“Most employers understand that relationships between employees will happen and they are not interested in hearing about them except when it becomes an issue,” Clayton says. “Whether an employer has a disclosure policy or not, depends on the company culture.”

Some companies have never had situations where employees had romantic relationships, so they may not have a policy or requirement to disclose those relationships, according to Clayton. Then, there may be companies where executives are involved with an employee in the workplace, therefore they don’t want to enforce disclosure on anyone else in order to preserve their own personal relationship. SHRM found that 12% of respondents have dated their subordinates, while 19% have dated their managers or other superiors.

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Some companies do ask the parties to sign a “consensual relationship agreement” or a “love contract” before resorting to more drastic measures, such as transferring one of the employees to another department where they will no longer work together or asking one to resign. As important as it is for companies to have appropriate disclosure policies, workplace romances can also have professional benefits, too.

“If [colleagues] live together, they can commute together,” Clayton says. “They can relate to things that are happening at work. If that is the time they mainly see one another, they are excited to go to work.”

Still, employers should establish a policy so employees know the expectations, according to Clayton. The policy should include information about disclosure, harassment, retaliation and conduct. It should have information about what is appropriate and inappropriate, as well as what actions will be taken if employees are out of compliance with the policy.

“It's important to define workplace romance policies clearly and consistently,” she says. “This is ultimately the key to keeping working relationships and workplaces running smoothly.”